Myself at the Beginning of this Academic Year...
If my past self from the beginning of this academic year, saw the state of my current self, I think she'd shake her head with disappointment. I think she'd say, "You did it again, you overwhelmed yourself and look, this time you didn't even turn in a couple of assignments! Get it together girl." Every semester, every year even, I make myself the promise that I'll take it easy on myself and only take on as much as I can realistically handle. I think that the problem is that sometimes when I agree to projects, I don't actually understand either A) How much is involved in that project, or B) How much I will involve myself in the project. At first glance, A and B seem like the same thing, but they are vastly different. The difference being, what is expected of me from others vs. what I expect from myself (and I'm usually much harder on myself than anyone else would ever be). Expecting too much from myself, and not letting myself settle for good enough, is how I get myself into the most trouble. However, I do think beginning-of-year-Kaley would be pleasantly surprised to know that we ran the Take 1 Film Festival pretty successfully. "Where did that even come from? A film festival!? How did we even get involved with that!?" she might ask incredulously, "You just wait and see…" I'd tell her.
Beginning of College Career Self to Current Self…
Well, the beginning of my college career was 2003, so I think my past self wouldn't even recognize my current self. I think she'd be excited to see that she's become confident, capable, and widely respected. I think she might even be confused as to how we fit it all in. My past self was not very good at managing her life and was easily overwhelmed with relatively simple tasks and would often give up as opposed to trying harder. I think she would be glad to know that it gets better and that she is now able to juggle many different projects and responsibilities while still making straight A's as opposed to not even having any extra-currciculars but still making C's, D's, and F's. I do wonder how my past self would interpret my current work-load. While my recent-past-self would be disappointed that I haven't lightened my load, my distant past self might be impressed by the amount of work I take on. But might she also feel overwhelmed by it? I have a tendency to think it's a little of both. She would be intrigued that we're able to handle so much, but I think her mind wouldn't be able to comprehend how to make that kind of focus happen. She'll get it eventually, she just needs time.
My Current Self to My Current Self…
I have done a lot of self reflection this semester and I have to say, surprisingly I don't like some of what I see. I see myself getting more and more overwhelmed each semester. I see myself becoming exhausted and irritable. I see myself becoming less positive about my situation simply because I'm just too tired to fix anything. While I do think I've done some great things this semester, and that I've proven how much of an asset I can be to a project, I feel like I've failed myself in a sense. I promised myself that I would be kinder to myself, that I would give myself space to breathe, and it just hasn't happened. Why do I do that? I like to have new challenges and I like to feel needed so when someone asks for my help I usually jump at the chance. But I need to make myself take a step back and really think about these projects before I sign on. As it is now, we only have a week left in the semester and I'm so stressed out I can barely sleep. I don't like this feeling and I need to do everything I can to make sure I don't continue to treat myself this way moving forward.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Friday, April 17, 2015
Get rid of this please…
The tropes I chose were mainly from film, but could probably apply to a lot of plays as well. These are the main ones that I've been thinking about recently. It's amazing how long each of these tropes has been around.
1.) The Manic Pixie Dream Girl
This trope is the one everyone these days is familiar with. Although it wasn't named until 2007, the trope itself goes back to the early 1960s, if not earlier. She's that girl in the film who exists only to inspire our main character (male, of course) to do great things with his life. He's usually a depressive, angsty sort of gentleman and she's so crazy and different that he's brought out of his shell and realizes life really is worth living! Usually this girl doesn't have her own storyline. She doesn't have much of a backstory, we don't know anything about her family, and does she even have a job!? We don't know. Because that's not the point. The point is that he needs inspiration, he needs a muse, he needs his Manic Pixie Dream Girl!
Examples in Cinema:
Marilyn Monroe in Some Like it Hot
Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's
Kate Hudson in Almost Famous
Natalie Portman in Garden State
Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown (an article about this film is where the Manic Pixie Dream Girl term was coined)
The Anti-trope:
Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer
Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
At first glance, these two films' female characters listed above could be (and have been) given the false title of Manic Pixie Dream Girls. But I encourage you to look again. In 500 Days of Summer, we do see that Joseph-Gordon Levitt's character Tom is completely absorbed by Deschanel's Summer. He is positively inspired to go dancing in the streets with cartoon birds! But she's actually not interested. She's not there for him. She has her own job, and while we don't see her having her own goals, we do see her making real effort to live separately from him and has no interest in being his muse. The movie shows a deconstruction of the MPDG and a realistic end to a relationship based on infatuation. In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Kate Winslet's character Clementine has a great line that bashes the MPDG ideal, "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked up girl looking' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."
I think the best way to combat the MPDG trope is to not settle for female characters who aren't fully fleshed out, with dreams, goals, aspirations of their very own. Choosing characters that have a point of view and aren't just there as a complement to the male lead. Which brings me to...
2.) The All-American Straight Vaguely Christian White Male Hero
I've had it with the All-American hero because basically it means the All-American Straight White Male Hero. He's usually Caucasian/Germanic/Nordic/European in genealogy while usually having a non-regional dialect to suggest he's from Anywhere,USA. He's also very much straight and most of the time, insanely virtuous, and either Agnostic or vaguely Christian. But what's probably more frustrating to me are his supporting characters. His supporting characters are usually minorities: black or asian or female, but they are never his equal and generally always need to be saved by him. I actually became aware of this trope while watching Walker, Texas Ranger as a kid. (Chuck Norris' accent is actually Texan, but I've learned that's an acceptable dialect for All-American heroes.) He had his partner Trivette and the DA Alex Cahill who he worked with on cases and were relatively capable characters. But I noticed that ever single episode, even when Trivette or Cahill were on the scene it had to be Walker to save the day. For some reason they were just never good enough on their own.
Examples in Television:
Chuck Norris in Walker, Texas Ranger
Tom Welling in Smallville
Stephen Amell in Arrow
Grant Gustin in The Flash
Examples in Film:
Sam Worthington in Avatar
Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon franchise
Mark Wahlberg in The Italian Job
Bruce Willis in every movie ever!
The Anti-trope:
Sigourney Weaver in Alien
I'd like to specifically point out Alien because the film script was originally written with no mention of gender. On instinct the studio execs were going to cast it completely with men (the default gender) but one of them said "Hey, let's just make this one and this one women." The result is that he unwittingly called for the creation of the first female hero who didn't rely on men to get her out of trouble.
A possible fix for LSU's reliance on the straight male lead is maybe to just cast females in the role and just see what happens!
3.) That Guy With the Accent, Yeah He's the Bad Guy
So if our male hero is white and American, then our bad guy has to be dark skinned and/or have a foreign accent. It's been going on for decades, and the origin of the bad guy changes based on what war we're currently fighting. During the Cold War it was the Russians, now it could be anyone from the Middle East. But the main one I've seen these days is the bad guy is British. They even have a car commercial that pokes fun at this trope. It's re-enforcing the stereotype of the "other" being dangerous. It's ignorant and it harms our progress toward acceptance of those who may be different from ourselves. It makes us ego-centric as a culture.
Examples in Film:
Alfred Molina in Spiderman 2
Tim Curry in IT and Legend and Ferngully and everything really
Mark Strong in Sherlock Holmes and Kickass
Ian McKellan in X-Men
Alan Rickman in Die Hard and Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Gary Oldman in everything, just everything
The Anti-trope:
Gonna be honest, I had a hard time finding a movie that depicted someone with an accent as being the "good guy" and an American being the bad guy. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I dug deep and I couldn't find it.
I don't know that LSU does a bad job of keeping us away from this trope, simply because I haven't heard accents being focused on too much in the plays here. But if I do hear it, I hope they are responsible with the implications.
So this was kind of a long post, but I get real excited about talking about movies!
1.) The Manic Pixie Dream Girl
This trope is the one everyone these days is familiar with. Although it wasn't named until 2007, the trope itself goes back to the early 1960s, if not earlier. She's that girl in the film who exists only to inspire our main character (male, of course) to do great things with his life. He's usually a depressive, angsty sort of gentleman and she's so crazy and different that he's brought out of his shell and realizes life really is worth living! Usually this girl doesn't have her own storyline. She doesn't have much of a backstory, we don't know anything about her family, and does she even have a job!? We don't know. Because that's not the point. The point is that he needs inspiration, he needs a muse, he needs his Manic Pixie Dream Girl!
Examples in Cinema:
Marilyn Monroe in Some Like it Hot
Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's
Kate Hudson in Almost Famous
Natalie Portman in Garden State
Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown (an article about this film is where the Manic Pixie Dream Girl term was coined)
The Anti-trope:
Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer
Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
At first glance, these two films' female characters listed above could be (and have been) given the false title of Manic Pixie Dream Girls. But I encourage you to look again. In 500 Days of Summer, we do see that Joseph-Gordon Levitt's character Tom is completely absorbed by Deschanel's Summer. He is positively inspired to go dancing in the streets with cartoon birds! But she's actually not interested. She's not there for him. She has her own job, and while we don't see her having her own goals, we do see her making real effort to live separately from him and has no interest in being his muse. The movie shows a deconstruction of the MPDG and a realistic end to a relationship based on infatuation. In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Kate Winslet's character Clementine has a great line that bashes the MPDG ideal, "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked up girl looking' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."
I think the best way to combat the MPDG trope is to not settle for female characters who aren't fully fleshed out, with dreams, goals, aspirations of their very own. Choosing characters that have a point of view and aren't just there as a complement to the male lead. Which brings me to...
2.) The All-American Straight Vaguely Christian White Male Hero
I've had it with the All-American hero because basically it means the All-American Straight White Male Hero. He's usually Caucasian/Germanic/Nordic/European in genealogy while usually having a non-regional dialect to suggest he's from Anywhere,USA. He's also very much straight and most of the time, insanely virtuous, and either Agnostic or vaguely Christian. But what's probably more frustrating to me are his supporting characters. His supporting characters are usually minorities: black or asian or female, but they are never his equal and generally always need to be saved by him. I actually became aware of this trope while watching Walker, Texas Ranger as a kid. (Chuck Norris' accent is actually Texan, but I've learned that's an acceptable dialect for All-American heroes.) He had his partner Trivette and the DA Alex Cahill who he worked with on cases and were relatively capable characters. But I noticed that ever single episode, even when Trivette or Cahill were on the scene it had to be Walker to save the day. For some reason they were just never good enough on their own.
Examples in Television:
Chuck Norris in Walker, Texas Ranger
Tom Welling in Smallville
Stephen Amell in Arrow
Grant Gustin in The Flash
Examples in Film:
Sam Worthington in Avatar
Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon franchise
Mark Wahlberg in The Italian Job
Bruce Willis in every movie ever!
The Anti-trope:
Sigourney Weaver in Alien
I'd like to specifically point out Alien because the film script was originally written with no mention of gender. On instinct the studio execs were going to cast it completely with men (the default gender) but one of them said "Hey, let's just make this one and this one women." The result is that he unwittingly called for the creation of the first female hero who didn't rely on men to get her out of trouble.
A possible fix for LSU's reliance on the straight male lead is maybe to just cast females in the role and just see what happens!
3.) That Guy With the Accent, Yeah He's the Bad Guy
So if our male hero is white and American, then our bad guy has to be dark skinned and/or have a foreign accent. It's been going on for decades, and the origin of the bad guy changes based on what war we're currently fighting. During the Cold War it was the Russians, now it could be anyone from the Middle East. But the main one I've seen these days is the bad guy is British. They even have a car commercial that pokes fun at this trope. It's re-enforcing the stereotype of the "other" being dangerous. It's ignorant and it harms our progress toward acceptance of those who may be different from ourselves. It makes us ego-centric as a culture.
Examples in Film:
Alfred Molina in Spiderman 2
Tim Curry in IT and Legend and Ferngully and everything really
Mark Strong in Sherlock Holmes and Kickass
Ian McKellan in X-Men
Alan Rickman in Die Hard and Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Gary Oldman in everything, just everything
The Anti-trope:
Gonna be honest, I had a hard time finding a movie that depicted someone with an accent as being the "good guy" and an American being the bad guy. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I dug deep and I couldn't find it.
I don't know that LSU does a bad job of keeping us away from this trope, simply because I haven't heard accents being focused on too much in the plays here. But if I do hear it, I hope they are responsible with the implications.
So this was kind of a long post, but I get real excited about talking about movies!
Week 11 Post! OMG!!!
So I definitely missed the fact that we had a blog post that was due at the end of Spring Break. Whoops! I checked for prompts the first couple of days of Spring Break but then got totally absorbed in other projects. I apologize for my tardiness, and this may not even count toward my grade because it's so late, but I think this is a very interesting topic so I'll post on it anyway.
Rejuvenating as an artist is so important! Yet, I rarely make time for it myself. I'm constantly telling myself "You need to slow down." "You don't have to say yes to everyone." "You should carve out some time just for you." But inevitably, before I even know it, I've completely jam-packed my day, week, even, month with constant meetings, deadlines, and projects. And it usually isn't until halfway into the mind-numbing process of wading through all this work that I even realize how much I signed up for to begin with. This semester has been an excellent example of me overwhelming myself. And to be honest, thinking back, I don't even know how I could do it any differently. I really don't.
So how do I fix it? How do I rejuvenate myself and get myself back on track and re-energized about my career. I need a vacation away from myself. What I mean is that I need to go somewhere where I can't give in to my usual impulses. The Sundance Film Festival was actually an excellent rejuvenation for me, the way that my trip to Scotland was not. The reason being, on the Scotland trip I was heavily relied upon to keep everyone else's schedule, to keep everyone else on track, to be the responsible one. And I'm a sucker for it. I want to help people and feel needed, so when someone says "Hey Kaley, do you want even more responsibility and work that you may or may not be able to handle right now?" I say "Yes sir, and may I have another!" It's masochistic is what it is. But Sundance, oh beautiful Sundance. Josh was very much against having itinerary. He basically said that we were adults and we can plan our days for ourselves, and we can meet up when we want to, eat when we want to, and go see whatever we want. It was amazing. I was able to fully immerse myself in the culture of Sundance, watch films, listen to filmmakers discuss their process, and wander around the city. I didn't have my usual responsibilities, nobody was looking at me to have all the answers, and it was nice. Like, really nice. So when I got back from Sundance and was dropped back into the Spring semester, I landed with a thud. I've spent this entire semester mourning the end of that week of Sundance.
So then, my plan for my next "Artist's Rejuvenation" will be my trip to Europe for my 30th birthday. I'm not going to bring my laptop, I'm brushing up on French, German, and Spanish, and I'm going to find as many cultural and artistic wonders as I can in my 2-1/2 week trip! My plan is to not give myself responsibility over anyone, not to over schedule myself, and to just let myself wander, let my mind wander, and find my artist's calm again.
Wish me luck.
Rejuvenating as an artist is so important! Yet, I rarely make time for it myself. I'm constantly telling myself "You need to slow down." "You don't have to say yes to everyone." "You should carve out some time just for you." But inevitably, before I even know it, I've completely jam-packed my day, week, even, month with constant meetings, deadlines, and projects. And it usually isn't until halfway into the mind-numbing process of wading through all this work that I even realize how much I signed up for to begin with. This semester has been an excellent example of me overwhelming myself. And to be honest, thinking back, I don't even know how I could do it any differently. I really don't.
So how do I fix it? How do I rejuvenate myself and get myself back on track and re-energized about my career. I need a vacation away from myself. What I mean is that I need to go somewhere where I can't give in to my usual impulses. The Sundance Film Festival was actually an excellent rejuvenation for me, the way that my trip to Scotland was not. The reason being, on the Scotland trip I was heavily relied upon to keep everyone else's schedule, to keep everyone else on track, to be the responsible one. And I'm a sucker for it. I want to help people and feel needed, so when someone says "Hey Kaley, do you want even more responsibility and work that you may or may not be able to handle right now?" I say "Yes sir, and may I have another!" It's masochistic is what it is. But Sundance, oh beautiful Sundance. Josh was very much against having itinerary. He basically said that we were adults and we can plan our days for ourselves, and we can meet up when we want to, eat when we want to, and go see whatever we want. It was amazing. I was able to fully immerse myself in the culture of Sundance, watch films, listen to filmmakers discuss their process, and wander around the city. I didn't have my usual responsibilities, nobody was looking at me to have all the answers, and it was nice. Like, really nice. So when I got back from Sundance and was dropped back into the Spring semester, I landed with a thud. I've spent this entire semester mourning the end of that week of Sundance.
So then, my plan for my next "Artist's Rejuvenation" will be my trip to Europe for my 30th birthday. I'm not going to bring my laptop, I'm brushing up on French, German, and Spanish, and I'm going to find as many cultural and artistic wonders as I can in my 2-1/2 week trip! My plan is to not give myself responsibility over anyone, not to over schedule myself, and to just let myself wander, let my mind wander, and find my artist's calm again.
Wish me luck.
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